Demonic Chaote

Full disclosure: this post ended up being more of a list of ideas than the essay-style posts I normally do, so if that’s not your thing (or if you get squicked out by any kinks more intense than handcuffs and spanking) I recommend skipping this one.

Sexual energy, whether with one partner, multiple partners, or by yourself is not only incredibly potent, but also relatively easy to tap into and raise for a ritual. It’s often inherently grounding by nature, and every single person can utilize it – even asexuals who don’t necessarily experience sexual attraction. I think anyone who’s been into magic and the occult for a while has heard of (and probably tried) sex magic at least once or twice. It’s great! However I’d like to take it a small step further and talk about using BDSM and Kink in sex magic rituals. I’m fully aware I’m not the first person to discuss this by far, but I also feel like it’s not talked about enough either. Plus it’s a combination of my two main interests, so why not?

First, some definitions (and my apologies to any kinksters who are already familiar with these terms, feel free to skim past if it doesn’t interest you.):

Kink: A particular sexual preference or behavior that is unusual.

BDSM: An acronym with three parts
– Bondage and Discipline
– Dominance and Submission
– Sadism and Masochism
BDSM is often referred to as a sort of catch-all term for most kinks, though that isn’t necessarily true as there are plenty of kinks that fall outside of the BDSM umbrella.

Scene: “A consensual interaction or session between one or more individuals who engage in BDSM activities” (from husdom.com). The levels to which a scene is pre-planned various heavily from person to person, and even scene to scene.

Play: Generally refers to unstructured and/or unplanned BDSM activities

Safe, Sane, Consensual: A catchphrase that succinctly encompasses the values of the BDSM community at large. All kinky play or scenes should be between consenting adults who understand the full scope of what they are about to do with means to immediately stop all activities if they want (via a safe word, hand signal, or other clear means), and while there are some risks involved in BDSM activities, none should ever risk serious or permanent harm to yourself or anyone else.*

There are many ways to mix kink and magic. One is by turning a scene into a full blown ritual. You’d prepare yourself and your partner(s) and your space for your ritual in whatever way you like best, perform your scene, then close the ritual space with aftercare** being done either as a part of the ritual itself or after the ritual has concluded. Another is by just adding one or two kinky elements into your otherwise vanilla sex magic ritual. If you want to go solo without a full scene you can also play around with some kinky elements while masturbating, which can be just as fun and effective as a full scene with a partner would be.

The ideas written below are intentionally broad and vague so that they can be tailored to any ritual purpose or dynamic. I’ve tried to include solo options*** as well for those who don’t have a kinky and/or magical partner. Lastly, all of these are genital and gender non-specific so anyone of any anatomy and gender identity can use them.

• Many forms of kinks can be used simply as a means of raising energy for an unrelated purpose rather than as a full scene in and of itself. For example, a claustrophilia kink or impact play can be practiced simply to raise energy that is then directed towards a goal upon release.
• Roleplay in general, kinky or not, can be an effective way to work sex magic. Whether that’s one person taking on an archetypal energy and transferring it to the other, all parties invoking energies that suit the ritual, or solo play where the practitioner roleplays out an entire scene on their own.
• Impact play can be used as a form of banishing. If the Submissive has a trait, habit, situation, etc. that they want to get rid of, the Dominant can use impact toys or hands to beat that thing out of the Sub or their life. If the Dom is the one with something needing banishing, the Sub can invoke the energy of that thing and the Dom would beat that out of their own life instead of their Sub’s life. This type of scene is great finished up with an orgasm and/or aftercare as a form of protection and grounding. Exercise caution when performing impact play on oneself, as we often feel less pain when hitting ourselves than if someone else was hitting us.
• Edging can be done on its own or as an addition for larger scenes. Focus on the intention, and then edge yourself (or have a partner edge you/edge your partner) as many times as you can. If you want, leaving the energy built up over several days can have an extra potent effect. Upon orgasm, force that intention out and see it either manifesting or being destroyed depending on the goal. This is also a great way to add some extra “oomph” when charging a sigil.
• Shibari is great in scenes as a form of knot magic or binding for those who are looking for a more “witchy” angle. I wouldn’t recommend this one as a solo ritual but if you feel you must, do not tie up your arms or suspend yourself. Stick to legs and torso only my friend! You can either cut the ropes off, or, if you’d prefer not to ruin your rope (understandable – that shit is expensive), fully close the ritual before untying the knots. If you do want to cut the rope off as a part of the ritual, perhaps buy some cheaper rope specifically for ritual purposes, While this idea is more aimed at the rigger with the rope bunny being a source of lended energy, it can also be effective the other way around.
• Ageplay can be an incredibly healing way to work with one’s inner child or for use in general healing rituals. Also great whether it’s a solo ritual to connect with oneself, a Caregiver/Little scene to strengthen peace and confidence, or an all-Little scene to bring out more childlike energy for other uses.
• Taking on a Dom/Sub dynamic can be great for protection workings (specifically protection of the Sub) with the ritual focused on domination=protection. Some specific D/S dynamics that lend itself especially well to this type of working are CG/L dynamics and Master/Slave dynamics. For protection of the Dom, maybe try a Puppyplay scene as dogs are known for being very protective of their owners.
• Petplay is a great means for more primal workings if you’re looking to bring out a more animalistic or wild energy for a ritual. And while owners are certainly a welcome part of these kinds of rituals (perhaps even playing the part of a deity or higher self?) petplay does not require an owner for this kind of ritual at all. In addition, this can be done solo, as a pair, or in a group.
• Another idea for Petplay would be if the Owner has something in their life they want to reign in or control, the Pet takes on the role of that thing and a scene is enacted where the Owner trains (or punishes) the Pet until they successfully obey their master.
• For anyone into such things, needle and bloodplay add an extra layer of potency to any ritual. Specifically for Demonolaters (and other edgelords like us) bloodplay in a scene is a great way to give a combined blood and sex offering.
• Bloodplay in a scene is also great for removing old stagnant energy if used in the same manner as ancient bloodletting or leeching. (I think it goes without saying, but just to be extra safe: I do not recommend doing bloodplay without extreme caution and certainly not solo.)
• Exhibitionism and voyeurism can both be combined with vampyric techniques to take others energy in order to increase your own sexual energy. Like basically all other kinks, this can be for its own purpose or as part of another ritual.
• Plushophilia describes the kink of being sexually around by stuffed animals. For those wanting to magically engage with this kink, try performing a scene to enchant a specific stuffy for a specific purpose. For example, you enchant a green stuffy to hump or fuck as a money spell, or one in your favorite color or texture to fill you with peace when you’re struggling with depression. Plushophilia also plays well with ageplay scenes.

Hopefully this has given you some ideas to branch off of and create your own kinky rituals to enhance your sex magic. I’ve also included a link to a big list of kinks at the end of this post for anyone who’s interested in finding new kinks to use in magic and/or play.

And of course, as always, I hope someone else out there found this to be helpful in some way. Feel free to leave a comment if you have other thoughts, want to continue the conversation, or disagree with me completely. Or don’t, it’s up to you. Either way, I hope you have a good one!

– J

*For example, caning someone’s backside causes physical injury but lots of people fully understand and want this to be done to them. It can be made safer by using clean materials, and appropriately cleaning and caring for the wounds afterwards. In the end caning someone hurts and can injure them, but it won’t cause serious or permanent damage. On the other hand, choking in no way can be done safely as even light pressure cuts off blood flow to the brain, potentially causing permanent harm which is not safe or sane, even if it is technically consensual.

**Not as scary as it sounds! Most people need aftercare after sex, kinky or vanilla. For vanilla sex (and even some bdsm scenes) that might just look like cuddling and talking to each other. Since BDSM is usually a bit more intense than vanilla sex, it’s only natural that the aftercare required is also usually a bit more intense.

***I will not be delving into the issues that many have with solo bdsm in this post, but for anyone curious who has not done this kind of play before I would HIGHLY encourage you to do extra research on safety in solo bdsm and to not try anything that you cannot get out of yourself.
(And before anyone says it – no, this isn’t encouraging anyone to potentially hurt or kill themselves. These are just some ideas for ritual using kink. It’s not mine or anyone else’s responsibility to ensure your safety as the reader. It’s yours. If you read something online and then immediately try it without doing further research or reading, that’s on you.)

BadGirlsBible kink list